Infected
by ab89us
Summary: Peter thinks about what had happened while he was infected and locked in the building. Spoilers for 'What lies below' Rated T for language


Disclaimer: I didn't start watching this show until a few months ago when I watched it online...So no, I don't own it...Sadly.

Please read and review.

* * *

Peter sat on the cold, snow covered bench that was located in the center of the park near where he and his father lived. His head was in his hands, his thumbs rubbing his throbbing temples as he went over everything that had happened the previous day. How he had been infected by the virus, how his infected brain had told him to do everything that he could to get out of the building. He had even gone as far as to handing his father the q-tip with the unused side up to make him think that he wasn't infected and then had tried to break through the doors with a fire extinguisher after being locked in the building. And then…Then everything came back to him like a movie that's been run so many times that parts are starting to fade. It was as if he blacked out for a few minutes at a time only to come back to himself confused and disoriented.

He remembered seeing the others trying to break the door along with him, but then it all went black until he saw Olivia on the computer screen in the building. She had gone back in the building and he had felt a surge of anger and betrayal as he watched her get into the elevator. The next thing he remembered was her lying on the floor and he was in pain. She had angry red marks on her neck that he had no doubt had been caused by him, by his hands. The thing that scared him the most is that when he thought about the fact that he had choked her, he felt a sense of euphoria. He was happy that he had done that, that he had hurt her. Then he would really think about it and would feel nothing but anger and disgust at himself. How could he hurt her? How could he be happy that he had potentially, almost, taken her life? Her beautiful life…

He loved her, there was no denying that. At first it had been a strong attraction which had started the very day that he had met her. She had gone all the way to Afghanistan to get him to return to the states. She had gone as far as to threatening to inform the people that he was hiding from his whereabouts if he didn't, telling him that she had a file on him. He had later found out that there was no file and that she had lied to him so that she could try and save the life of a man that she loved. He had felt his attraction to her pull back slightly at the thought that she belonged to another man. But after the other man, John had died and she had found out that he had betrayed her. He felt his attraction grow to the same level it had been at before.

But now…Now he just felt a strong self loathing. He loved her, yet he had tried to kill her, and had felt satisfaction with that. How could he possibly face her again? How could he ever tell her how he feels for her now?

He couldn't.

And it scared him, it hurt him, but he knew it was true. He couldn't be with her, not if he could look her in the eyes and do that to her while feeling happy. It was sick, it was wrong. So getting up, he dusted the snow off of his pants and made his way back to the house. He would pack some stuff and would leave, where? He didn't care, as long as it was away from here, away from her, as long as he couldn't hurt her again.

* * *

He took his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door before walking in and locking it behind him, knowing that his father would panic if he didn't.

"Hello Peter." Walter said from his spot on his bed which still sat in the kitchen no matter how much Peter had tried to convince him to put it in his bedroom.

"Hi dad." Peter said absentmindedly, not noticing his slip of 'dad'.

The slip didn't evade Walter though and had his ears burning with curiosity and a slight touch of fear. Peter never addressed him as dad; occasionally he would tell people that Walter was his father, but never dad. Not since he had been released from St. Clair's. He watched as Peter went to his room and closed the door before he picked up the phone and dialed the first number that came to mind. He heard the phone pick up and didn't bother to wait for a hello before saying.

"Can you come here; I think something is up with Peter."

The person quickly agreed and hung up the phone.

* * *

Peter opened a large duffle bag and started to shove things into it at random, wanting nothing more than to leave as soon as possible. He crammed in a few shirts and pants into the bag before grabbing his MIT shirt. He was just about to grab a pair of his shoes when a knock on his bedroom door made him jump.

"Go away Walter!" He called out as he continued to grab things at random. The knock sounded again, this time more dramatic.

Groaning, he went to the door and flung it open expecting to see his father with a concerned look on his face, but ended up coming face to face with the one person he really didn't want to see right now.

"What are you doing here?" He snapped as he turned away from her and looked out the window. He couldn't look at her, not now.

"What the hell are you doing?" Olivia asked angrily as she saw the stuffed duffle bag on his bed.

"I'm leaving." Peter said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?"

"Why? Damn it Olivia, this is why!" He yelled at her as he pointed to the bruising on her neck.

"Because you were infected by a 75 thousand year old virus and were out of your mind?" She scoffed. "That's why you're leaving?"

"I hurt you! Cant' you see that?!"

"Of course I can, I can feel it too you know? But it wasn't you that hurt me, it was that damned virus! You are not at fault here Peter, that bastard that infected everyone is! He's the one that hurt me, not you; you had no control over it!"

"I did, at times I knew exactly what I was doing! I knew that I was choking you and for some reason I felt happy! How fucking sick is that Olivia? I felt happy that I was hurting you!"

"It wasn't you Peter, you may have known what you were doing, but it wasn't you making the decisions. I saw your eye when you were choking me and what I saw wasn't you. I've seen you angry and this, this was different. I know that you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." Olivia shrugged.

Peter looked away from her again before walking over and sitting on his bed. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples like he had on the bench earlier, battling the head ache that was pounding through his skull.

"I don't want to hurt you again." He said in barely over a whisper.

Olivia let out a heavy sigh as she sat beside him and touched his arm to get his attention.

"Do you really think that leaving won't hurt me, because if you do, then you're wrong? I know that you would never hurt me like that. I know that you were not in control. Leaving is only going to hurt me more than what happened yesterday." She stated as he took his hand in hers. "I care for you Peter, more than I should. Having you leave isn't the answer. I'm not afraid of you hurting me again."

"I'm afraid of hurting you." Peter said as he looked at their joined hands before looking at her.

"I know Peter, but I also know that you won't. I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either."

"Then don't. If I ever fear that you're going to hurt me, I'll tell you and you can walk away, get some air, whatever you need to do. Just don't leave, please." She said.

"Okay." He said as he lowered his head and felt as she leaned her head against his.

They stayed that way for a while before he raised his head and took in a sharp intake of breath as he realized how close they were. Then without hesitation, he brushed her lips with his in a gentle kiss full of promise. She then surprised him as she cupped his cheek in her hand and pressed her lips more firmly against his, deepening the kiss.

"I guess that saying is right. You only hurt the ones that you love." He whispered and saw her eyes widen before she smiled.

"Then you should probably know that the ones who love you easily forgive you when it's not your fault that you hurt them." She whispered back.

Peter smiled at her before kissing her again and pulling away when they both heard someone gasp.

"What do you want Walter?" Peter asked as they both turned to face him.

"Nothing." Walter said quickly and left.

"You should teach him about privacy." Olivia smirked as she kissed him again before getting up and closing the door.


End file.
